photo credit: Heidi Schlenk
She sat in the coffee shop, in a new town – a place she’d never been before, waiting.
I didn’t show.
I had responded enthusiastically to her request for help, for sisterhood. Because I’m familiar with what she’s going through, from my own life experience. And it’s important to me to be a woman who can be counted on to be there, to listen, to show up. But I didn’t.
Ironically, as she waited for me, I was on the phone being attended to by a friend I can count on when I need a lift. And I did this morning, need a lift.
As the day continued my phone and inbox reminded me about commitments of personal, business, community, and family varieties. Most I am barely keeping up with, many I am lagging behind, several I utterly dropped.
I have to recognize that I am myself (the self-described advocate for balanced wellness and self-care) dropping the largest ball of all this week. I experienced one hiccup in a world full of challenges offered for my personal growth and lost all hope. Translation: I went to bed late without brushing my teeth or washing my face. I slept in. I awoke late. I skipped my workout. I forgot my kid’s early carpool for math team. I didn’t read my morning inspiration. I didn’t meditate. I yelled at a couple people I live with. Balls absolutely everywhere.
I know you you have days like this. Because we all do. In all the chaos of our very-full lives, we drop balls regularly,
and we are not alone.
So for me, and for you this week. I am calling us together. This Thursday night, please join me for You are not alone: A virtual women’s circle. We’ll meet on the phone for an hour. We’ll connect with ourselves and each other. I won’t record this one so we can get super honest and vulnerable. And I’ll probably do it again every month or so (as needed). Because we need this.
No need to register, just call in at 8pm (east)/5pm (west) with your cup of tea or comfort from a quiet place, ready to attend to your most basic needs. Self-honoring. Recognition. Community. Care. The number is 712-432-0075 access code: 632053#
If you have to miss this one, take it as a cue to attend to your own self-care in a way you may have been forgetting lately. It doesn’t have to be a major event, it can be very simple. For ideas and to stay connected with me, click here to download my suggestions to begin.
Seriously. Check in with your bladder. How long have you been holding it? ...pretending not to notice that you're crossing your legs so you don't have to walk all the way down the hall to the bathroom just to get that last paragraph written, send the important email before you forget, make a quick phone call, attend to that sticky note on your computer?
Consider this a friendly public service announcement. Potty breaks are the most basic form of self-care. It's silly that I have to remind you, I know, and you're chuckling about it - but am I ... Read More
Circa mid-2004, my life looked perfect. I had:
a healthy 6-year-old boy and 9-month-old girl
a happy marriage
a nice house with a two-car garage
a dual income household
a cushy part-time role I created for myself at a respected company
a great boss and co-workers
an influential career working with appreciative colleagues
So what was the problem?
Every single morning on my drive from day-care center to office building, I reflexively reached toward the CD's for my Coldplay fix... cranked the volume, and commenced crying buckets of tears. Something was wrong, wrong, wrong.
Have you felt this way before? Did you let it well up until ... Read More
artist credit: Sophia Libby, Emma Libby, Ella Vertenten
'What if your one New Year's Resolution for 2014 is to love yourself more?'
Have you been watching this question pop up repeatedly over the last several days? I hear it because it is what I desire and need most of all right now. At age 45, I've come to realize that for where I intend to steer the course of the rest of my life; self-flagellation, criticism, and berating are no longer viable motivators. The 'stick' method does work, but only up to a point, while also inflicting ... Read More
This week I feel like I earned my rent in the Universe. I did some good alongside two school educators, another mom, a dozen or so other parents, teachers, teenagers and advocates for healthy relationships in and around our community. We shared a documentary called Finding Kind about so-called 'girl-world' - addressing meanness and promoting kindness. On night one we showed it to adults in the community and hosted a discussion with panelists including experts in raising healthy girls and abuse-prevention. On day two we brought it to middle school girls, then sat in small ... Read More